JSA ♛ rags to riches but I'm addicted to being broken

Elle regardait son short usé et son vieux t-shirt qui avait appartenu à son frère. Elle l'avait récupéré. Ça ne la dérangeait pas. Elle l'aimait bien, et ça lui permettait de se sentir proche de Jaimie. Mais ici? Elle ne savait pas très bien pourquoi, mais ses vêtements la mettaient mal à l'aise. Elle releva la tête, observa la fête d'anniversaire devant elle. Tout était rose et pailleté... girly. Elle ne comprenait pas pourquoi toutes les fêtes d'anniversaires des filles devaient toujours autant... Indiquer qu'elles étaient des filles. Ça n'avait pas beaucoup de sens, non? Elle même aimait bien le rose et les paillettes, mais ça ne pouvait pas être le cas de toutes les filles, si? Et puis, pour en mettre autant partout... il fallait vraiment que ça les fascine ou un truc comme ça. Elle regarda ses vieilles converses avec le drapeau des États-Unis dessus. « Magical power of the pink » murmura-t-elle pour elle-même. Elle rit toute seule. « That's pretty much it, isn't it. » Elle sursauta. La dernière fois qu'elle avait vérifié, elle était assise toute seule depuis qu'elle était arrivé dix minutes plus tôt. Or, en relevant la tête, son regard rencontra celui, bleu et malicieux, d'une petite fille d'une dizaine d'années, tout comme elle. Elle rougit. « Sorry. Did I make you uncomfortable? » Jordan la détailla du regard. Elle avait de long cheveux bruns, un très joli visage en forme de cœur, et une peau d'une blancheur laiteuse. Jordan sourit timidement. « No, no, you didn't. Huh... I promise I don't talk to myself like that... much. » L'autre fille se mît à rire. Elle lui fit un clin d'œil. « Don't worry. I do it all the time. I'm Jessica by the way. But call me Jess! » Jordan sourit. Elle tendit sa main, comme elle avait vu son grand frère faire. Jessica la regarda un instant, prise au dépourvu, avant de retrouver son sourire et de la saisir. « I'm Jordan. It's nice to meet you. » La brunette lâcha sa main, sautillant d'excitation. « It's really nice to meet you too, Jordan! And we both have names that start with J! It's so cool! » Son excitation était bien réelle, au point que ses yeux en brillaient. Cela fit rire Jordan, ce qui sembla faire énormément plaisir à Jessica. Elles commencèrent à discuter avec animation, de l'école, de ce qu'elles faisaient à côté, de leur passion. Jess faisait de la danse classique. C'était sa mère qui avait voulu. Elle ne détestait pas ça, mais elle savait qu'elle ne serait jamais une grande danseuse. Elle n'était pas très grande, par rapport aux autres filles de son âge, et puis, pas assez "gracieuse", selon sa professeure. Elle aurait préféré faire du plongeon. Elle en avait vu l'année d'avant, en regardant les JO de Beijing, et elle avait trouvé ça formidable. « It looks like they're flying! And you know like... » Elle fut coupée net dans son monologue par une masse de cheveux blond paille qui se jetèrent sur elle. Elle grimaça, l'autre petite fille lui ayant donné un coup de coude sans faire exprès. « Jessiiiiiiiiiiiie! » entendit-on, le son étouffé par le pull de Jess. « Hey Sasha. » L'autre fille – Sasha – se redressa, un grand sourire sur le visage. « Come with us, we're doing a make up session! » s'ecria-t-elle en se pointant du doigt, ainsi qu'une amie a elle avec qui elle était venue, une autre brune, qui portait une robe a paillette tellement scintillante que Jordan en avait mal aux yeux. « Huh... » « Come oooooon! » Jess se mordit la lèvre. « Can Jordan come? » Celle-ci écarquilla les yeux en entendant son nom. Elle ne s'attendait pas à ce que Jessica souhaite passer plus de temps avec elle qu'avec ses amis. « Jordan? » Sasha répondit en penchant la tête sur le côté. Son regard dériva vers elle, et la détailla de haut en bas, glacial. « And... Why do you want her to come? » Jess fronça les sourcils. « Because she's my friend, obviously. » Sasha haussa un sourcils hautain, l'air peu convaincue, et Jordan lui lança un regard de défi. Cela sembla la prendre au dépourvu, car ses yeux s'ouvrirent en grand et elle se tourna à nouveau vers Jess. « But she looks like she's... poor » murmura-t-elle, suffisamment haut pour que Jordan l'entende. Elle se sentit pâlir, le sentiment d'inconfort qui avait disparut lors de sa conversation avec Jessica revenant au galop. « Are you serious Sasha? That's so mean! So what if she is? That doesn't mean you're better than her! » Jess avait l'air en colère. Elle serait ses poings, et son regard brillait d'une étincelle furieuse. Sasha la regarda d'un air interloqué. « What? » Jessica serra les dents, et prit la main de Jordan dans la sienne. Jordan la regarda avec surprise, avant de serrer sa main en retour. Elle se sentait un peu mieux. « You're just so mean. Why would you even say something like this? If you're going to say stuff like that just leave us alone » affirma-t-elle fermement. La blondinette serra les poings à son tour. « Well, I don't care anyway. You're not even cool. » Jess ricana. « Like I care what you think. » a ces mots, Sasha laissa échapper une petite expression interloquée, et tourna les talons, s'en allant comme une furie. Elles la regardèrent partir, puis Jordan se tourna vers Jessica. « Thank you for standing up for me » murmura-t-elle. Jessica lui fit un petit sourire. « That was the right think to do. I'm sorry you had to hear that. She can be so mean sometimes I don't get it. » Jordan exerça une petite pression sur les doigts de sa nouvelle amie, comme pour la rassurer. « It's okay. » Jess sembla hésiter, puis hocha les épaules et changea de sujet. Elles ne se lâchèrent pas la main jusqu'à ce que l'heure des cadeaux arrive.

Jordan entered the cafeteria, scanning the hall in search for a specific person. « OLIVER. JACK. GRAYSON. » she shouted when she found him, her hands on her hips, a fuming look in her eyes. She strode through the room, all eyes turning to her. She didn't care. She was used to getting looks from her peers, looks of want, awe, or jealousy – usually from girls who still didn't get that girl power was more important than who you slept with or what you looked like – and she was unfazed by it. The only reason she had transferred to this school was because her old one in Stockwell didn't offer Political Science A-levels. She wasn't here to be popular, but successful. She took her bag in her hands and started hitting him repetitively on the side with it. « I – slam – can't – slam – believe – slam – you slept with – slam – Erica Tanner – slam – oh my – slam – God! » she whispered-yelled, ignoring his cries of protestations. She sat down in front of him, ignoring his best friend who was laughing at his side. Kriffing idiot « What did I tell you about respecting girls huh? What did I tell you about not screwing around with nice and impressionable girls? Erica is a romantic! You know it! Everyone knows it! Now she thinks you guys are forever! » He grimaced and she glared at him. « Oh no don't you dare pull that face and look at me with those puppy dog eyes. You asked for it. Jesus Oli, is it really so hard to keep it in your pants when you see a girl? » He had the decency of seeming sheepish. « Sorry? » he risked. She punched him in the arm. « Oy! Stop hitting me already, I need those arms! » She rolled her eyes. « Yeah well, that's what you get for being a complete idiot. » She folded her arms, staring at him expectantly. The whole hall had gone back to doing their thing, used to the duo's eccentricities by now. He grabbed a French fry from his plate and munched on it. « 'Am sorry J. I won't do it again? » She raised a doubtful eyebrow. « Off course you will, cause you're an idiot. But you are also going to apologise to that girl, or I'll make you. » Her tone was colder now, almost threatening, and he knew her well enough not to take it lightly. He winced, but nodded. « Will do, mam. » They both laughed. That's when Elliot decided to chip in. « Dude, you just got owned by a girl! » he sniggered. She cast him a contemptuous glance. « So what? It would have been better if it'd been a boy, is that what you're saying? » He gaped at her like a fish out of the water. She got up. « Yeah, didn't think so. » Oli was laughing at his friend's discomfited face now, and she couldn't help but grin. She gave him a light peck on the cheek. « See you later ! » she sing-sang smugly.


Jordan took a deep breath and turned her camera on. She looked straight at it. « Hi guys. » She bit her bottom lip, averting her gaze. « So... This is a bit hard form me. » She took a deep breath. « As you know this is supposed to be "Know your privileges Monday" but today is going to be slightly different. » She marked a pause, smiling shyly at the camera. She wasn't naturally shy. « As you might have noticed it, I talk a lot about social inequalities and how you might be privileged without being aware of it. » She let out a sharp laugh. This was more difficult than she thought it would be. « I talk about black issues, about women issues, about poor issues... but you might have noticed that there's one "huge" minority I've never talked about, not in depth anyway. » Her gaze dropped to her fingers, which were automatically playing with the laces on her jumper. « And that is, of course, the lgbtq+ community. I know some of you noticed cause I've seen some comments on my other videos asking me where I stood on the whole matter. » She closed her eyes and took a new breath in. It was okay. She was okay. « And the reason I never did was because... » She opened her eyes, staring at the lens of the camera. « I am bisexual. » Jordan felt a weight lift from her shoulders. She let out a sigh of relief she didn't know she had been holding. « I am bisexual and I am coming out now because as confident as I am and as proud as I am to be a part of the lgbtq+ community, it's still something I feel like I have to do. I know the world is evolving, people are becoming more open minded, but it's still not that easy to come out, especially when you are a black girl. I was so scared I wouldn't be taken seriously, and I still am, to be honest. Bisexuality is still something that's not accepted, even in the community. But my identity is valid. And I don't want to hide from you guys, or anyone, any longer. I know where I stand now. I hope you all will support me on this but even if you don't, who cares. Because as you should know by now, I am who I am and proud to be so. »